I. Have. Issues.

I may have written about the craziness that ensues in the parking lot of my son’s school at drop off. It looks a bit like a pit stop at the Daytona 500. Stop. Drop child off. Rev engine. Fly out of the parking lot with increasing speed, maneuvering around other cars and narrowly missing teachers and children, innocently walking into the building.

A few years ago, a particularly hurried parent almost ran over my son. While she may have been rushing to a super important event, it was not more important than my son’s life. Since that day, I pull up right in front of the door so he can walk straight in the doors. Even though he is almost 13, most days I wait until he is in the doors.

It must have been my waiting that irritated the woman behind me today, as she squealed around me to drive out of the dark, slippery parking lot, at about 55 mph. The slippery, dark parking lot filled with teachers and children walking into school.

That. Makes. Me. Crazy.

In our She’s Got Issues small group, we recently talked about ANGER. I have some issues with anger. I yell more than I should, which is not at all. Sometimes I throw things. Occasionally, I slam doors. That is a particularly unsatisfying habit in my house where the doors just do not slam. However, in the old, drafty house where I grew up, the solid wooden doors shook a city block when you slammed them. That was satisfying.

Sorry, sidetracked. We talked about anger being from God. Anger motivates us to act, and when we act righteously, that anger has produced a good result. For instance, if reading about a child being bullied infuriates you so much that you form an anti-bullying organization at your own child’s school, your anger has triggered a positive response. But if your husband leaves the recycling on the counter instead of putting it in the bin for the fourth day in a row, and in your irritation, you swipe it off onto the floor… Well, you’ve just made a big mess for yourself to clean up, and you haven’t really taught him anything. And by you, I mean me, because I just did that about a week ago.

Unfortunately, our anger is often provoked by selfish motives rather than just cause. Even more often our reactions are misguided attempts at validating our own “rightness” rather than making a valuable contribution to the world. I am working really hard on that issues.

So, to the woman who screeched around me in the parking lot today: At 7:25 this morning, I had some really angry feelings toward you. Part of me wanted to yank you out of your car at the stop sign. That part of me is from Warren and may or may not have a CCL (that’s a concealed carry license, and I really don’t, but you didn’t know that until I just told you).

Instead, I will say: I understand you are in a hurry. I worked full-time for 10 years while my older kids were in school. For three of those years, I commuted to Cleveland. Mornings are busy and hectic, and we are often rushing. I promise you that the two or three seconds you might save by speeding through the school parking lot will never be worth the lifetime of pain a family will endure if you run their child over. Please slow down and be cautious.

driving in the snow

as a driver for more than 20 years, and the parent of a child in driver’s training, i know–and have recently relearned–a few things about driving. i’m not bragging. i tend to be nervous. i have been in accidents. i’m cautious. i don’t text and drive. if i talk on my phone, it’s always on speaker, and i rarely do. i usually have a minimum of two children in the car and often four. so i pay attention while i’m driving.

my dad always preached “drive defensively.” i don’t really do that. i try to anticipate when people are going to pull out in front of me, change lanes without looking, and so forth. i watch my husband–road-rage-aholic–try to punish people for their driving errors, “should have gotten in the right lane, asshole, i’m not letting you over.” and many many more, but i digress. i disagree with that. i try to be a compassionate and forgiving driver. i make excuses for most people. i decide they must be in a hurry to pick up a sick child, or something that i can understand. i figure if they’re wrong and i’m right it doesn’t really matter, i don’t want to any of us to end up dead.

now, all that said, in driver’s ed, which we all have to take in ohio, one of the first things students learn is that in adverse weather–snow, sleet, rain, all of which we’ve had daily for the last month–you should 1. decrease your speed 2. increase your following distance. so. WHY DO PEOPLE INSIST ON TAILGATING? i’ve seen bumper stickers about it. they’re generally lewd and profane. i mostly agree with them. i advised a tailgater yesterday via the rearview mirror exactly what i would do to her in no uncertain terms if i did not have two small children in the car. i did not use profanity or hand gestures. but for a brief moment i did contemplate following her to her destination and punching her in the mouth. that would not be compassionate though. so i went home. intact. and i pray that if i have to drive my children to school tomorrow i will have the good fortune of again driving with the slow, safe pack of drivers i was blessed with this morning. all but that asshole behind me.