21 Days: Day 13 – 14

Yesterday was a blur of moving, boxes and stuff and bodies and cars and All. That. Jazz. I didn’t write and beat myself up about that, but I shushed the shrew voice and am moving on.

A few days ago I downloaded an app that counts your steps, lets you log your food and water intake, and so forth. I’ve been reading Eat Move Sleep: How Small Choices Lead to Big Changes by Tom Rath and implementing some of the healthy tips. With all the moving yesterday, I figured I would destroy that step goal. Here’s the thing about that though: Your phone must be in your possession for it to work. So it was mostly, “Oh shoot, where’s my phone? LILY, I need my phone. DAMMITTTT, I left my phone in the car. Ugghhhhhhh…Whatever.”

The book encourages consistent healthy choices rather than some big life change. With each opportunity to choose healthy or unhealthy, you choose healthy. So after the moving we went to dinner, and I chose stir fry and didn’t eat any of the rice or bread. And there were peppers in oil. I put them on my salad. But, they still had Christmas Ale on tap. I mean draft Christmas Ale in mid-January is an obvious gift from the universe. So, it seemed rude and ungrateful to thumb my nose at it. I did, however, say no to the cinnamon and brown sugar rimmed glass. I didn’t dislocate my shoulder patting myself on the back.

1. It’s really easy to wake early and count blessings on the weekend because I’m surrounded by love. And my husband brings me coffee in bed, which means I have about 5 full minutes between waking up and his arrival to express my gratitude.

2. Yesterday morning as we enjoyed an uncharacteristically warm sunny drive, I gazed dreamily through the sun roof and was amazed to see a bald eagle soaring over the car (Brad was driving, you guys.) I’m intrigued by animal totems and am often visited by hawks–and once a rogue owl–so I immediately started researching what message a bald eagle brings:

When an eagle appears, you are on notice to be courageous and stretch your limits. Do not accept the status quo, but rather reach higher and become more than you believe you are capable of. Look at things from a new, higher perspective. Be patient with the present; know that the future holds possibilities that you may not yet be able to see. You are about to take flight.

Whether you believe or think it’s all just a bunch of hocus pocus, that’s way cool.

3. I’m getting behind on my thank you’s again. I’ll mail them tomorrow. Wait…Tuesday.

So yesterday and today were pretty good eating days. I realize now that one of the most important elements for me is: Be Prepared. Pack healthy snacks. Make food ahead of time so I don’t make an unhealthy choice in a moment of hunger-induced weakness. And the biggest key is never to let myself get too hungry. I’m mean and angry and much more likely to eat more and make bad choices. I was literally eating carrot sticks on the way to dinner yesterday because I was starving and didn’t want to make a bad choice because my stomach was overruling my brain.

How are you guys doing? What are your thoughts on spirit animals? Have you read any good books lately? I’ve got a stack of non-fiction to get through, and then I’m going to reward myself with something fun. My girlfriend and I had a fake book club for five minutes during which we read Gone Girl, which was so great. Anyway, she sent me this awesome list of books to read if you loved Gone Girl, so I think I’ll try one of those. I’m always looking for recommendations 🙂

xoxo

21 Days: Day 12

Well, about 50 of you are hanging in and reading this every day. I’ll send you all thank you notes when it’s over–most of you probably already got or are getting one though. Today was a spectacularly average day sprinkled with some fun little interactions … impromptu chats with friends, a phone conversation with a much-missed soul sister, a snowy walk with the dog. Good stuff.

1. My day didn’t start so great though. The dog woke me at 4:00 a.m. alerting me to how I’d be spending my morning — i.e., scrubbing carpet. But, there were still plenty of blessings to count, and I had plenty of extra time to count them.

2. Historically, I’ve been a worst case scenario thinker. I worried about bad things happening to people I love. In the past few years, however, my life shifted to a degree that I learned to surrender and trust that everything is going to be all right.

For example, Chloe lives in another state. She traveled to two different countries last year. I don’t see her very often. Sometimes I don’t hear from her before I go to bed. Sometimes, I don’t hear from her for almost a whole day; I do start to freak out a little bit when that happens. But mostly, I know that she is okay. I remember my dad telling me, “No matter how old you get, you will always be my baby,” and that is the truth. But I am blessed that I get to have an awesome grown-up relationship with her.

Then there’s the fact that Brad travels frequently for work. Twenty or so years ago, when I was super jealous and possessive, it would have made me crazy not to know exactly what he was doing. The ladies love that guy. And although he has never done anything to make me mistrust him, there is that shrew-y little voice that sometimes suggests he could be getting into all kinds of mischief. I told that voice not to even go there with me. Once, I surmised that he had a perfect job to have an affair, if, in fact, he wanted to have an affair. He gave me the squinty-eye and reassured me with, “You’re silly, baby.”

I realized today, as my daughter headed off to New York City, that I didn’t even get a little bit of a pit in my stomach. I didn’t tell her to be careful or lecture her on all the hidden dangers that could be lurking. She’s been lots of places and knows about the dangers. In fact, she is far more worldly than I am. The only thing I felt was genuine excitement for her knowing that she is going to have an amazing time.

Acknowledging that I no longer have to worry about every little thing makes me extremely grateful for the way my molecules have been rearranged.

3. I have to buy more thank you cards. That is all.

I’m writing early because our afternoon and evening are filled up with activities, but today, I’m going to post it instead of messing around thinking, “Oh, I’ll edit this later…” because that blew up in my face yesterday. 9 days left, kids. I ate a half an avocado and two carrots for breakfast. The crazy thing is: I enjoyed it.